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►From Amphibian Man (1961) Theme song: Far below, deep below, here
we go-go Sailorman, I’ll tell you on
the level Sails out, anchor up, we’re
out in force Sailorman, I’ll tell you on
the level
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The Andromeda Strain (1971) First politician: The decision on 712 isn't final. It was just postponed for 48 hours. Scientist: By then the disease could spread into a world-wide epidemic! Second politician: It's because of rash statements like that that the President doesn't trust scientists! First scientist: Let’s not get sidetracked on Rudolf Karp and his meteorite theories! His technique was worthless! Second scientist: I still think we should contact him. First scientist: Fair enough. Where is he? Third scientist: Behind the Iron Curtain. He couldn’t get a research grant here. [I was going to say "it’s funny, ‘cos it’s true", but in fact it’s so true it ain’t funny....] . |
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Around The World Under The Sea (1966) Technical explanation: This is the warning device. It's so sensitive that before an earthquake happens, before it is either seen or heard, the device senses it. Obviously we call it a 'sensor'. Bewildered observer: Rabbits underwater!? How did you accomplish this? Offhand genius: Oh, it’s an artificial gill that allows them to breathe underwater. Misanthropic scientist: Sharks, animals - they kill each other for a reason, because they’re hungry. People kill each other for nothing. Humanitarian scientist: Wait a minute, now. There might be a few people like that, but it certainly doesn’t apply to the whole human race. [Then we’ll disregard the rumours] Venal scientist: It’s better to be a rich scientist than a poor scientist. [A ‘rich scientist’? Isn’t that an oxymoron?] Male scientist: You want to put a woman aboard a submarine for three or four months!? Female scientist: I’m a problem. You men gave us our freedom, but sometimes it’s difficult to cope with. Male scientist: We better learn how to cope with it, ‘cause you’ll be there, working right along side of us. Whether it’s in outer space or deep under the ocean - you’ll be there! . |
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From
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: The Director's Cut (1979/1994) Japanese scientist: Technically, sir, tomatoes are fags. American scientist [after a slight pause]: He means fruits. President: I want you to get General Mitchell on the line – tell him to bomb New York City! Government agent: But, Mr President! - the tomatoes are nowhere near New York! President: You worry about your problems, I’ll worry about mine. . |
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The Beast With A Million Eyes (1955) Alien invader: You - think!? In my world, only we are allowed that luxury! Alien invader: We - shall I be specific? - feed on brains. Unfortunately, they don't last very long. Alien invader: Hate and madness are the keys to power in my world! Deputy sheriff: That loony of yours has gone mad! . |
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From
The Bees (1978)
Male scientist:
You got through customs all right? Scientist: I
understand your interest in our work from an economic point of
view, but it’ll be quite a while before we can find out whether
these African bees can be made less dangerous while not losing
any of their beneficial qualities. Female scientist:
John, you’re being careful with that radiation, aren’t you? I
mean, we wouldn’t want you altering your chromosomes or –
altering your genes. Older male scientist:
I can work this without you. Newsreader: It is
incredible that in spite of having the most sophisticated
weapons and advanced defense systems, the United States seems
completely defenceless against this invasion. More news on the
bees in just one minute. Corrupt politician:
For Christ’s sake, can you please tell me what the hell is
happening? You told me those beehives of yours were foolproof.
Now these killer bees are all over the place! Look, this is
shaping up in Congress like a goddamn volcano – and my ass is
hanging right over the cone! Male scientist:
What Dr Hummel proposes is the synthetic manufacture of this
chemical, which is known as a ‘pherone’. [sic.] It can
be sprayed into the atmosphere and, we believe, cause the drones
to become confused, and attempt to mate with each other rather
than with the queen bee. Older male scientist: Sondra, now you vill zee zomething frightening! Ze battle to ze deaths between ze new queens! Ze zurvival of ze fittest! – or rahzer, of ze most brutal! A reflection of ze human political process, in a vay! Older male scientist:
Hey, zat kiss vas for me! After all, she is my niece! Corrupt politician [on
the phone]: Hello, this is one of
your ‘clients’. I want to take out a ‘contract’ with some of
your people. I want the very best available! Male scientist:
Hummel is dead, and there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do
against them. British UN delegate: Good Lord! This chap’s gone completely raving bonkers! . |
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►From
The Beginning Of The End (1957) Reporter: I spoke to him, but I guess he didn't hear me. Scientist: Oh. He's a deaf-mute. Working with radiation can be - dangerous.... Scientist: Nothing to worry about! Just a slight catastrophe! Reporter: Do you have these catastrophes often? Scientist: Ha, ha! All the time! Scientist: It’s hard to keep these little things from getting in. These are snails. Last summer it was caterpillars. After that, it was grasshoppers – by the drove! – and just last week, it was beetles! Reporter: How do they get so big? Scientist: Well, radiation causes photosynthesis – that is, the growing process – to continue night and day. The radioisotopes act as a---sort of an artificial sun; a sun that never sets! Reporter: Tell me: what’s he doing? Scientist: Well, that’s plant food; essential minerals. Keeps the plants from burning themselves out. They have to be fed constantly. Actually, the fruit would be much larger if we didn’t limit the stimulation! Scientist: What do you want me to do? Reporter: Just ride out there with me and take a look. Scientist: I don’t understand what good that’ll do. The authorities investigated it thoroughly. Reporter: The sheriff thinks in terms of crime and publicity. You’re a scientist. You think in terms of cause and effect. Maybe you’ll see something he missed! Scientist: I’ve got your explanation for you, Tom! Now, listen: you’ve known me ever since I came to Paxton. You know I’m not given to hysteria, and you’ve got to listen to me with an open mind! Colonel: Take it easy, Ed! Scientist: Locusts! Colonel: What are you talking about? Scientist: I’m talking about giant locusts! Giant locusts are responsible for all this! Scientist: You have to believe us! Listen: you’ve seen the giant plants out at the lab--- Colonel: Are you trying to tell me you bred these things!? Scientist: In a sense – I did, yes…. Some locusts must have gotten into the lab – and they ate some of the plants, or some of the radioactive plant food. So their cell division accelerated immediately – that is, they started to grow abnormally fast! Scientist: Each one of them has the strength of ten men! There are probably two or three hundred of them! Colonel: So last night, not satisfied with eating grain, they came to Ludlow? Scientist: Yes! Colonel: Ha, ha! Even if I went for your story about their size, it’d be hard to believe they’d attack people! Scientist: We saw Frank Johnson killed by a giant locust! Colonel: Sure, and there are reliable people who’ve also seen flying saucers and weird little men from Mars! Colonel: Where would I get off calling for the regular army to handle some oversized grasshoppers? Why, they’d Section Eight me right out of the service! Scientist: Wait a minute. We can’t drive them – not drive – but we could attract them – attract! If we could reproduce their call, General, it might work! It just might work! General: What do you need? Scientist: Well, let me see. I need--- Uhhh, I need--- I need an audio-oscillator. I need an audio--- Two! Two audio-amplifiers! The most powerful you can get! I need an ostilloscope! I need some high frequency radio equipment! And a boat! A fast boat! Scientist: I just attached the wires from the ploygraph to the two copper strips at the bottom of the cage. Now, the locust, like every other living thing, has galvanic reflexes, or electrical charges, in direct ratio to its activity, or emotional stimulation! . |
| ►From
The Blood Beast Terror (1967) Mad scientist: Wasn’t it I who created you? And how have you rewarded me? By causing death and destruction! And now I have been insane enough to create another! Female monster: You mean – it’s ready? Mad scientist: Yes! In a few days it would have matured – and you would have had the companion you seek: a male of your own species! But now I realise what I have created, I’m going to destroy you both! . |
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From
The Brain From
Planet Arous (1958) Scientist’s fiancée: You know it’s three o’clock and you mad scientists haven’t even stopped for lunch? Scientist: No wonder I’ve been getting insulting messages from my stomach! First scientist: Dan, we’re going over to Mystery Mountain! Second scientist: Not before we eat! Scientist: There’s a hot blast of gamma coming from Mystery Mountain! That’s cause enough for any scientist to go into the desert. Lucky it’s intermittent. If it was constant, we’d be fried! First scientist: Turn the Geiger on again, will you? Second scientist: It is on. Suddenly it’s as cool as a well-digger’s foot. Scientist: Who are you? What do you want? Evil alien brain: I am Gor! I need your body as a dwelling-place while I am here on your planet Earth. Scientist: Why me? Evil alien brain: Because you are a recognised nuclear scientist. Because you have entrée to places on Earth I want to go. I chose your body very carefully, even before I knew about Sally – a very exciting female! Scientist: Leave Sally out of this! Evil alien brain: Why? She appeals to me! There are some aspects of the life of an Earth savage that are exciting and rewarding! Things that are missed by the brains on my planet, Arous. Scientist: If you so much as touch Sally, I’ll---! Evil alien brain: It is you who are touching her! Even I must have some interest to spur me on! She’ll do very nicely! Evil alien brain: None of your puny weapons will affect me! Evil alien brain: Your feeling of helplessness is your best friend, savage! When I am occupying your body, or in my present transitory form, I am without substance and indestructible! You are fortunate that Gor, one of the greatest intellects in a world where intelligence is all, has chosen to use your body! I, Gor, in your stupid body, will have the power of life and death over this civilisation. Through me, you shall have power such as no man has seen before in the history of your planet! The power of pure intellect! Evil alien brain: We will take the young female for a ride in your car. I will enjoy being you tonight! She gives me a very strange, very new elation! Possessed scientist: I’m going to the atomic bomb tests at Indian Springs. I’m going to watch the tests with Colonel Frogley and Professor Tate, and then I’m going to introduce my discovery. It’ll make the atomic bomb look like a firecracker! Fiancée: You frighten me when you talk like that! Fiancée: We’re going to be rich? Possessed scientist: Mmm, richer than that! Pictures in the paper, royalty calling on you--- Fiancée: You scare me when you talk like that! . |
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