Synopsis: In
Jahdor, rebels plot the overthrow of the evil Caliph Alquazar (Christopher Lee). News of
the revolt reaches Alquazar via his Captain of the Guards, Bahloul (John Wyman), and a
spy, Khasim (Milo O’Shea). The Caliph says that he will deal with the rebels himself.
Inside a hidden cavern, Alquazar watches in his Magic Mirror as the rebels prepare to
attack the curfew guard. He also sees a stranger on a horse (Oliver Tobias) ride through
the city gates just before they are closed for the night. The Caliph casts a spell: a
cyclonic wind tears through the city, and the rebels are caught in its devastating wake.
After the storm passes, a small boy, Marjeeb (Puneet Sira), finds the stranger lying
unconscious and brings him water. Meanwhile, Alquazar gloats over the extent of his power
until a voice speaks from the Mirror. It is the voice of Alquazar’s own soul, kept in
bondage by an evil spell. The soul tells Alquazar he will never have supreme power without
holding a talisman known as the Rose of Elil. Alquazar promises that he will free his soul
if it will help him obtain the talisman. The soul agrees, saying that the one who can
capture the flower is already in the city. Alquazar sees a vision of the stranger, who is
being tended by the boy. Bahloul and his men ride out seeking any curfew-breakers. The
stranger hides Marjeeb, but is himself beaten and arrested. As he is thrown into a dungeon
and told he faces execution, he shouts unavailingly that he is Prince Hassan of Baghdad.
Inside the cell, Wazir Al Wuzara (Peter Cushing) tells Hassan that Alquazar poisoned the
previous Caliph in order to marry his wife and seize power; and that the beautiful
Princess Zuleira (Emma Samms), Alquazar’s step-daughter, has never set foot outside
the palace. As Alquazar watches in his Mirror, Hassan escapes when food is brought to the
cell. Fighting desperately, he flees through the palace, eventually finding himself in the
room of the princess. The two exchange an enraptured look before more guards arrive and
Hassan must fight again. Eventually, in the throne-room, he is cornered. As Bahloul moves
to strike a fatal blow, Alquazar stops him. Zuleira rushes in, and insists that the
injured man be cared for. To Hassan’s astonishment and suspicion, Alquazar begins to
treat him as an honoured guest. In the city, Marjeeb helps a street vendor and is given a
peach as a reward. An old blind woman begs Marjeeb for charity, and after a moment’s
hesitation, the hungry boy gives her the peach. The woman throws it down: inside is a
jewel. As the astonished boy holds the gem out, the woman vanishes, only to reappear,
young and beautiful, inside the jewel. Vahishta (Capucine) tells Marjeeb that he will
henceforth be under her protection. At the palace, Hassan asks for Zuleira’s hand. A
strangely compliant Alquazar agrees, but first sets Hassan a task: he must find and
capture the Rose of Elil….
Comments: There is a
difference between a film for children and a childish film, and unfortunately this
distinction seems to have been lost upon the makers of Arabian Adventure. It is
hard to imagine any but least discriminating of viewers – of any age – really
enjoying this film; it fails upon just about every level you can think of. The story is
very weak, but that’s almost to be expected. "Story", per se, is
rarely very important in these types of films; and this is true of "character"
as well. Still, even by the undemanding standards of the genre, Arabian Adventure
is particularly lame, featuring some of the least exciting "adventures" and
"challenges" I’ve ever seen, and a "hero’ and a
"heroine" so bland, so wooden, so thoroughly boring that they make the good guys
in any given Harryhausen fantasy seem like complex, well-developed individuals in
comparison – and witty conversationalists, to boot. Oliver Tobias looks the part as
Hassan, but that’s it. There isn’t an ounce of style or dash in his performance,
and his fight scenes are so clumsy and so laboriously executed that you really have to
feel sorry for the poor extras forced to "die" at his hands. Tobias is matched
all the way by Emma Samms, who as Zuleira is "beautiful". That’s it,
"beautiful". Now, okay, I know that the women in these things aren’t
supposed to do anything much beyond being captured and rescued and eventually dropping
into the hero’s lap like the prize out of a Christmas cracker, but Zuleira
doesn’t even get to do any of that. She’s never been outside the palace in her
life, we learn; barely been outside her own room; and she has precisely the kind of
sparkling personality that, under the circumstances, you would expect. Typical of the
film’s thoughtless and undeveloped writing is that we never learn the reason for
Zuleira’s virtual imprisonment, nor why every prospective suitor before Hassan was
slaughtered by the palace guards before even getting the chance to ask for her hand.
I’d initially supposed that Alquazar had designs on the girl himself, but no. (My
assumption was partially based on a creepy little scene at the beginning of the film.
Zuleira is first seen clinging to Alquazar, begging for more of his time. Based on her
behaviour, I initially had her pegged as the Caliph’s neglected mistress. When we
find out she’s his step-daughter - actually, since she was raised by him since she
was a baby, effectively his daughter – the whole thing suddenly seemed really,
really….icky.) I guess Alquazar just does all that ‘cos he’s bad.
The third and last of the film’s good guys is the boy, Marjeeb. His character may be
just too movie-cutesy for words, but Puneet Sira’s performance, although no more than
competent, is much more lively and enthusiastic than any of those given by his adult
co-stars. Unfortunately, as part of his alleged "cuteness", the kid has a pet
monkey. It’s supposed to be devoted to its "master", of course, but
understandably spends the whole film trying to escape. To prevent this, the poor creature
is kept on a leash, and ends up being tossed around like a rag-doll. At one point,
there’s a shot of it tugging helplessly at its stranglingly tight collar that made me
want to strangle someone myself. It’s hard to take any pleasure in a performance that
comes accessorised with an act of animal cruelty.
Well, you don’t expect much from the
Good Guys in this kind of film, I guess; but sadly for all concerned, the Bad Guys are
just as uninteresting. Even Christopher Lee’s presence can’t lift Arabian
Adventure. Whether Kevin Connor felt that merely having Chris in his film was enough,
or whether Chris himself found the proceedings just too dispiriting, it’s hard to
decide; but the fact is, he barely does any acting at all. Rather, he goes through the
entire thing with minimal effort and a mournful, someone-please-get-me-out-of-here
look in his eyes. Of course, it’s not as if he were given anything he could really
sink his teeth into: his Alquazar isn’t even conceptually interesting. Since
1940’s Thief Of Bagdad, most of the Bad Guys in these kinds of fantasy films
have been modelled after Conrad Veidt’s majestically doomed Jaffar. There was usually
at least an attempt at "anti-hero-dom"; a suggestion of tragedy, or even just of
hubris. There’s none of that in Alquazar. We’re given no hint as to why he does
anything he does; everything about his character (and by extension, the film itself) reeks
of "Just ‘Cos". As if to compensate for the lacklustre showing from
Alquazar/Chris, all of Arabian Adventure’s subsidiary Bad Guys turn in
displays of unbearable overacting. Worst of all is Milo O’Shea as Khasim (naturally -
he’s the film’s Odious Comedy Relief©); but he is run a close second
by John Wyman as Bahloul, whose entire notion of "acting" seems to consist of
glowering and baring his teeth; and by John Ratzenberger as Achmed, a street ruffian much
given to acts of petty cruelty. Achmed may come in third in the Hamming-It-Up stakes, but
he wins the Annoyance Derby hands down, as he comes equipped with a gang of hangers-on
that divides its time equally between roaring with laughter
("AAAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!") for about five minutes every time Achmed does
something mean or says something witty (like calling Marjeeb a cockroach; what a
gut-buster, hey?), and mugging directly into the camera….
There are perhaps two genuinely good ideas in
Arabian Adventure, and the film makes precious little of either of them. The first
is that of Alquazar’s soul, placed in bondage after being sold to "the Evil
One". This could have been an interesting plot thread, with Alquazar’s
deliberately imprisoned "goodness" battling with his lust for power; but the
soul is so whiny and ineffectual that you end up sympathising with Alquazar’s desire
to be rid of it. Matters are not helped by the fact that the soul is, to put it mildly,
not very bright. When Alquazar offers to give the soul its freedom in exchange for help
obtaining the Rose of Elil, which will make him all-powerful, the soul agrees
– then later on is shocked when Alquazar reneges on the deal. What the - !? How could
Alquazar’s own soul possibly be taken in by anything Alquazar says!?
Yeesh! Still, it’s quite possible that the casual viewer of Arabian Adventure
won’t be thinking about that little detail. It’s more probable that instead - as
I was on the first run through - they’ll be shaking their heads in disbelief at the
absolutely blatant thievery involved in the whole "Magic Mirror" thing, and
wondering where the heck the Disney lawyers were. And just to make sure that absolutely
no-one overlooks the origin of this device, they actually have Alquazar demanding to know
whether or not he’s "the mightiest of them all" (which I guess is the
masculine version of the ritual). Like his predecessor, Alquazar doesn’t like his
Magic Mirror’s reply – which in this instance is that he will never be "the
mightiest of them all" until he holds the Rose of Elil, "the greatest talisman
for good that ever existed". But, the Mirror warns the already-plotting Caliph, he
will not be able to capture the Rose himself, because he is too evil: someone else will
have to do it for him. (How Alquazar will be able to wield this talisman if he’s too
evil to capture it is left to our imagination.)
This leads to the film’s second clever,
and only subtle, idea. The Mirror summons up a vision of he who can capture
the Rose, and Alquazar, seeing Hassan and Marjeeb together, leaps to the conclusion –
as perhaps the viewer does also – that Hassan is the man for the job. Having sent his
cats-paw on his mission with the promise of Zuleira’s hand, Alquazar instigates
several attempts on Marjeeb’s life (why? - just ‘cos) - only to realise when it
is almost too late that it is the boy, not the Prince, to whom the Rose will fall. And
this, in story terms, leads us to the single most insufferable aspect of Arabian
Adventure. It is indeed Marjeeb who turns out to be the story’s hero – only
no-one, including the film-makers, ever seems to realise it. It is Marjeeb who captures
the Rose in the first place, Marjeeb who later rescues the Rose from the Bad Guys’
clutches, Marjeeb who defeats Alquazar, and Marjeeb who sacrifices his own magical
protection in order to save Hassan’s life, when he has been literally stabbed in the
back by the treacherous Khasim. When Vahishta, the Genie of the Jewel, warns Marjeeb that
if she saves Hassan’s life, it will be the end of her protection of him,
Marjeeb accepts the terms, because he is just a peasant boy, and Hassan is a prince
– and therefore, automatically more worthy to live than he. What’s disturbing is
that this is precisely the film’s attitude, too. There should, of course, have
been a "Pinocchio-moment" here, if I can call it that; a scene when someone,
preferably Hassan himself, convinced Marjeeb that worth has nothing to do with rank; that
his courage, his generosity, and his resourcefulness make him just as important a person
as any prince. But no, not in this world. Marjeeb might do all the work, but it is
Prince Hassan who gets all the rewards: the kingdom, the princess, all of Alquazar’s
wealth. As for Marjeeb---well, he gets to watch Hassan triumph. And what more could any
peasant boy want?
Well, I’ve spent three pages complaining
about Arabian Adventure’s story, its characters, and its moral – so what
does that tell you about the quality of its fantasy elements? Yup, ‘fraid so.
The fact is, of course, that when it comes to this kind of film, the story, characters and
moral can suck as much as they want, just so long as the viewer is compensated with lots
of fights and chase scenes, not to mention monsters, demons, genies, and sundry other
members of the family fantastique. There’s an attempt at that here, but not
much of one. The problem isn’t just that the effects are so poor, although they are.
You could forgive that, if they were at least executed with enthusiasm, or imagination;
but instead, everything here is sloppy, half-hearted. You get the distinct impression that
since the target audience was children, the producers figured any old thing would do.
Well, I hate to break it to them, but children know just as well as adults when
they’re being stiffed; and I doubt that there are many children around who could
watch what’s dished up here and not be sorely disappointed.
Anyway, the effects, such as they are, kick
in when Hassan is sent in search of the Rose of Elil. The Prince, Khasim and (for a while
– Khasim pushes him off) Marjeeb travel by flying carpet to the land of their quest,
where Khasim accidentally releases a genie ("comically", of course; everything
Khasim does is "comical"), who instead of the traditional three wishes, offers
Hassan and Khasim the "favour" of a swift death. This genie has to seen to be
disbelieved: he’s a fat guy with his face painted blue, and eyes like the aliens in Killers
From Space. He’s also transparent. Imagine a Bert I. Gordon film about a Mexican
wrestler on the rampage, and you’ll have some notion of the standard of the effects
work here. Disposing of this first threat, Hassan and Khasim head for a ring of volcanos
which periodically erupt, bringing forth roaring, fire-breathing dragons. Our hero cringes
in terror, while the audience cringes with embarrassment; for, not content with ripping
off Snow White, the film-makers also stole a chunk from The Wizard Of Oz:
the "dragons" are mechanical, operated by a man inside, whose job it is to scare
off anyone who might be trying to find the mythical Rose. Now, these dragons, in and of
themselves, really are the best thing about the film. They’re nicely done, and
very cute (provoking a "I want one! I want one!" from me). Trouble is
– they’re meant to be scary. Anyway, fortunately for Hassan, Marjeeb has
already sussed out the artificial nature of this "danger" (the more we see of
the defences it puts up, the less and less impressed we become with the powers of this
almighty Rose). The guardian of the dragons is forced to reveal the whereabouts of the
Rose, which is at the centre of a swamp, guarded by the dead – those who previously
attempted its capture. Hassan tries, and is nearly dragged to his death; and once again,
it is left to Marjeeb to save the day. And what of this mighty talisman, this all-powerful
weapon for good? – it looks just as, by this stage, you might expect: like a plastic
flower dipped in a bit of gilt. Pathetic. The climax of the film takes place back in
Jahdor, with Hassan leading the rebels (remember them?) in a battle against Bahloul and
his men; a battle which takes the form of an aerial dog-fight on flying carpets. This
could have been exciting, but again it’s so limply executed that it’s hard to
work up any enthusiasm. Meanwhile, it is Marjeeb, of course, who disposes of Alquazar; and
the film ends with Hassan being proclaimed the new Caliph (well, I’m thrilled,
aren’t you?), and he and Zuleira heading off on their honeymoon on a flying carpet.
Somewhat disturbingly, they are accompanied by Marjeeb. I suppose it’s meant to be
his "reward", that he gets to hang out with royalty; but personally I suspect
that the newlyweds just wanted a servant….
If you read the cast list up above, you will
notice some names there that I haven’t gotten around to mentioning in this review
yet. Arabian Adventure’s opening credits announce, rather ominously, a trio of
"Special Guest Appearances". One of those is from the French actress Capucine,
who plays the Genie of the Jewel, Vahishta. Vahishta appoints herself Marjeeb’s
guardian after – in what’s actually a nicely done fairy-tale moment – he
proves his generosity by giving his last meal to a blind beggar woman. I’m indebted
to the actress for her appearance here, since my only genuine laugh of the whole film came
via the malapropos superimposition of the name "Capucine" over the scene
that introduces Marjeeb’s monkey. (Hey, it’s that kind of film – ya gotta
take your laughs where you can get them.) "Special Guest" Number Two is Mickey
Rooney, who plays the guardian of the mechanical dragons. It speaks volumes for the acting
in this film in general that Rooney’s performance doesn’t seem all that
over-the-top, because taken on its own terms, it’s just as hammy as you might expect.
And the third "Special Guest"--- Well, this is where it gets painful: it’s
Peter Cushing, utterly wasted in a role consisting of one and a bit scenes. That’s
not to say that he doesn’t make the most of his screentime - always the pro, he
absolutely does; and sure, he probably just took the part just to hang out with his old
friend, Chris, again; but still, his casting borders on the insulting. And in fact,
I’m going to close here by saying something about Arabian Adventure that I
never thought I’d say about any film: it is not worth watching just for Peter
Cushing’s presence. I can’t warn you away from it more strongly than that…. |
Director: Kevin Connor