Return Of The Vampire (1944)
Policeman: This person that you and
Professor Saunders disposed of, who was
Scientist: Armand Tesla, the depraved
Romanian scientist, who died in 1744, shortly after publishing his work on
vampirism. Tesla’s morbid thirst for knowledge turned upon him, and after
his death he himself became a vampire.
never met Dr Bruckner, but I feel we’re doing a good thing for humanity,
helping a fellow scientist to escape the Nazi yoke.
(Yeah, the hell
with rescuing soldiers!)
from Rocketship XM (1950)
Male pilot: This is the
hottest crew I’ve ever worked with! Particularly the brains department.
Yeah – very attractive, too!
Yeah, I agree. But – you can quote me on this! – unless you look like a test
tube or a chemical formula, you haven’t got a chance.
Male pilot: Now, don’t get
mad at me – but can’t you ever relax? All these weeks, months, I’ve been
watching you: nothing but work, work, work. Now, I’ve been wondering: how
does a girl like you get mixed up in a thing like this in the first place?
I suppose you think that women should only cook, and sew, and bear
Isn’t that enough?
Male scientist: There must
be an error there.
I have made no error, Dr Eckstrom.
I have to say you have made an error – and discard your figures. I’m
Surely you’re not going to let emotion enter into this?
We’ll continue computing using my figures as the basis.
Yes, Doctor. Except that I feel very strongly I should say that – we should
We can’t. To complete either calculation will take 6-8 hours. We can’t
afford the time. It’s either one or the other, Dr Van Horn.
But it doesn’t have to be! You can’t be arbitrary about imposing your will
when these people’s lives are at stake! Don’t you realise that? You speak as
calmly as if you were saying “Pass the salt”. Aren’t you human? Are you made
of ice? I’m sorry. I apologise.
For what? For momentarily being a woman? It’s completely understandable,
Miss Van Horn.
Female scientist: Doctor –
can we be quite sure that these proportions are safe? We never proved it by
The mathematical theory is beyond question.
But of course, we know---- Sometimes it behaves unpredictably!
Woman’s intuition again?
She Creature (1956)
Spiritualist: Now, on this very
night, I have called her from the unknown depths of time itself! She is
here - and, with her coming, the world will never be as it was! Neither
man nor animal will be the same! This I, Dr Carlo Lombardi, have brought
Spoilt rich girl: Enjoying your
weekend with the idle rich?
scientist: Pretty heady stuff for a Professor of Psychic
Spoilt rich girl: Oh, you sound a
Not at all. I just don’t feel I belong in your world of yachts and racing
stables. Some of those tycoons in there! - including your father - kind of
Spoilt rich girl: Oh, come now!
This kind of life shouldn’t be too hard to get used
Poor-but-honest scientist: Let’s face it:
I’m an Iowa farm-boy with a Professorship at the University - but
basically, a farm-boy!
Spoilt rich girl: You’re a million
miles away, Ted! And just when I thought I was starting to get through to
Poor-but-honest scientist: Look, Dorothy:
I’m out of my element in a place like this. This preoccupation with
trivialities! - this talk about money! I’m what you might call a square, I
Spoilt rich girl: I’m real, aren’t
Poor-but-honest scientist: I don’t know.
Sometimes I think you are, and then I see you as part of this elegant
Spoilt rich girl: Well, that sounds like
a high-class brush off!
Cop: You’re gunna have to help me on
this one, Doc. More in your line than
Scientist: You’re not going for that
supernatural hokum, are you?
Cop: I don’t know
what I’m going for! I know he’s a killer. He doesn’t really deny it. He
just laughs at me and says, "Prove it!"
[Dontcha hate criminals who
The Snow Creature (1954)
Scientist: Yeti, yeti. What is
Native: Yeti. Creature of snow. Snow
Scientist: Oh, you mean the Abominable
Snowman. The Phantom of the Himalayas. Marauder of women! Ha, ha, ha,
Scientist: A legend. The
abduction of Subra’s wife. The footprints. The death of a native. All
these things began to fall into a mysterious pattern.
Official: I see where you classify your import as
a "snow creature".
Official: Well, it’s necessary that we
clarify its immigration status.
from The Tingler
Does it always kill them in – in the
Doctor: Well, I’ve never heard of it
Bystander: Well, in the chair, does it
Doctor: Not if it’s done
properly – at least, I don’t think
Bystander: Even a slight shock
Doctor: Try putting an electrode
soaked in saline solution on your head, and another strapped to your leg,
and then slamming two thousands volts between them. If it hurts, let me
Doctor: I seldom
know who they were or what they did, I suppose because I don’t want
to know. Science is sometimes – frighteningly impersonal!
I sometimes – like right now! – wish he didn’t work for you at all. That
Doctor: What, a
Persian rug merchant? Or---
Young woman: Oh,
that’s much worse! Just an ordinary eight to fiver with a yen for
Doctor: And waste one of the
best minds in pathology?
Young woman: Not
really. I love David just the way he is. I don’t even want to
change him. Golly, is that abnormal?
Assistant: Here, I
got that prescription for you.
good. You know, from the articles I’ve read, this is a very interesting
Assistant: So is
Doctor: Dave! Where’s that "all
for science" attitude?
Husband: That was
a charming little scene out there.
Wife: Yes –
Husband: Love in bloom, right on the
sidewalk. Rather shopworn, though, isn’t
Wife: Don’t tell me you’ve abandoned
corpses for peeping out of windows?
there was anything honest about your behaviour I might feel differently,
but there isn’t. You’re just playing the field – and vice
You know, Warren, you’ve lost touch with living people. Nobody means
anything to you any more unless they’re dead – and you can root around
inside them with your sharp little knives. There’s a word for
Husband: There’s several for
The only way Dave Morris will marry my sister is over my dead
Husband: Unconventional – but not
not hurt, dear. It was just a blank cartridge. But thanks for helping with
the experiment. You played your part
Wife: Oh, I
Husband: Sharing in your husband’s work,
and all that, you know…. [A cat yowls] Kitty? Kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty…. I was going to use this cat, but you made a much better subject.
Have you two met? In the same alley, perhaps?
for the advancement of human knowledge is one thing, but dying for
it - !
Doctor: Well, if that’s your
attitude, we’ll just have to wait until we find someone else who’s willing
to die for the advancement of science! And eventually, we
Doctor: The only
way I can frighten myself is to make it real – jump out of a window, get
run over by a car, go out and drown….
Home so soon?
Husband: Did you hear what the
little husband said to the big wife?
this another of you oblique jokes?
said, "Why does the back door slam every time I come in the front
Avenger Part II (1989)
Philosophical mutant superhero:
At first I found it hard to believe that my father was Japanese, and that
I was part-Japanese. But that would explain why I've always had these
strange, non-American urges to work very hard, save money, and live
without credit cards.
Avenger Part III (1989)
Evil corporation head: With all the
evil, rotten, corrupt, despicably low people in the world, why is
it so difficult for me to get some help?
Blind girl: I look at it this way:
I’ll never have to see ugliness. Or war. Or poverty. Or pollution. Or the
Depressed radioactive superhero: I
don’t have a life! I have a half-life!
Depressed radioactive superhero: The
Tromavillians tried to put on a brave face and made the best of their
mutated environment. But what does one feed to a creature that is half
frog, half duck? Worse yet, what would you call
from 12 To
The Moon (1960)
Narrator: Hello, The World!
Narrator: Within the next few minutes we expect to
make world-shattering history! The dual- powered Lunar Eagle will take off
with a liquid fuel method, and outside the Earth’s atmosphere will convert
to atomic power. When the moon’s orbit is reached, by retro- power the
first landing on the moon will be attempted! If all goes as planned,
touchdown on lunar soil will be twenty-seven hours from X minus
Mathematician: I’ve heard a lot about that new
Recorder: Physical condition of the
entire group – excellent! - except for Dr Heinrich, whose age is
Geologist: Brilliant, did I hear? What brilliance?
Young man, remember: who contributes most to interplanetary travel?
Recorder: What? Are you
Geologist: But of course! Sputnik I,
Sputnik II, Sputnik VIII, XI--- Two dogs,
Recorder: Our dog will survive
Navigator: Meteor cluster
Navigator: You’re on a collision course!
A collision course!!
Pilot: Changing over to
Recorder: In a few minutes man, for the
first time, will set foot upon the moon. The excitement is great, but
controlled because of its momentous importance. I am now switching over to
my helmet microphone. Now I’m turning on my invisible
electromagnetic ray screen [fiddles with a knob; his voice distorts
slightly] which forms a protective shield over our faces, and I will
continue my commentary through my micro-tape recorder!
"invisible electromagnetic ray screen"??? That’s right: a film so cheap
they couldn’t even afford a bit of plastic….]
Recorder: The first embarkation party returned to
the Lunar Eagle because of diminishing oxygen and the necessity to
normalise our bodily processes!
[Translation: they needed to use the
Recorder: These symbols could have been sent by an
Earth power already secretly here on the moon! A power that wishes to
scare us away! How do you feel about
Geologist: Why ask me? How should I
Recorder: I don’t believe there are any
[dramatic pause] "moon-people". Do
Geologist: I’m convinced it’s
Recorder: Someone could have
made it all up to [dramatic pause] frighten us off!
Physicist: This is flash-freezing! By some
scientific means they – whoever "they" are – have found a way to freeze
all molecular activity!
Physicist: They have frozen the lower atmosphere
by extracting all the [sic.!! – sorry, gang: really couldn’t work this
one out] therm-spatics!
how can that be possible?
Physicist: How is
very simple. It is the principle of the atomic bomb in
Geologist: I agree with you. Through
some superior device they have found a way of achieving a glacial
Physicist: Implosion bombs!
Physicist: Listen: our emergency space-taxi works
on atomic power. We must fashion a powerful atomic bomb by assembling and
uniting a number of bomblets, such as we used on the moon! Two men, drawn
by lot, should pilot the taxi over a live volcano! I am thinking of
Popocatepetl, of course….
Geologist: You disconnected it, you crazy
Engineer: You don’t understand! This is
our chance! Think! If the North American continent were to remain frozen,
your greatest rival would be powerless! I am one with you, don’t you see?
This way, we control the West! – and ultimately, the
Geologist: What do you
Engineer: You are not one of
Geologist: I am not only a scientist, I
am also a human being, not an insane