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THE ODIOUS RUNNERS-UP

Certain patterns were quick to emerge during the nomination process. A little disappointingly, although not surprisingly, the voting was heavily skewed towards both very recent films, and those featured on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. (In fairness, it must be conceded that MST3K showed a particular talent for unearthing films with an unusually high OCR content.) However, it was heartening to see a number of less obvious names emerge as contenders for the title as the voting continued.

And what was in the air, I wonder, in 1997?

  1. 1.      Marlon Wayans (“Snails”) in Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

  2. 2.      Russell Savadier (“Watney Smith”) in Outlaw Of Gor (1989)

  3. 3.      John Leguizamo (“Clown”) in Spawn (1997)

  4. 4.      Chris Tucker (“DJ Ruby Rhod”) in The Fifth Element (1997)

  5. 5.      Dirch Passer (“Peterson”) in Reptilicus (1961) [YES!!]

  6. 6.      Robert Donner (“Fingers”)/Jim Begg (“Laurence”) in Catalina Caper (1967) [The voters didn’t split them, so neither will I]

  7. 7.      Lloyd Nelson (“Heathcliffe”) in The Wild World Of Batwoman (1966) [YES!!!]

  8. 8.      Grant Heslov (“Arpid”) in The Scorpion King (2002)

  9. 9.      Renoly Santiago (“Ramon ‘Sally-Can’t Dance’ Martinez”) in Con Air (1997)

  10. 10.  Bill McCutcheon (“Dropo”) in Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964) [YES!!!!]

Dishonourable Mentions (in chronological order):  Dick Wesson (“Joe Sweeney”) in Destination Moon (1950) [YES!!]; Linda Watkins (“Mrs Kilgore”) in From Hell It Came (1957); [Actor unidentified] (“the Horshack-like jerk doing a really bad Columbo impression”) in Dr Minx (1964); David Tomlinson (“Harold Tiffin-Jones”) in War-Gods Of The Deep (1965); Mehmood (“the OCR butler”) in Gumnaam (1965); Bobby Van (“Danny”) in The Doomsday Machine (1967); Jeff Gillen (“Jeff”) in Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things (1972); [Actor unidentified] (“Angel”) in Lionman II: The Witchqueen (1979); [Actor unidentified] (“Myron”) in Pieces (1981); Jagdeep (“Mr Odious, the imposter-editor”) in The Indian Superman (1987); Pierre Knoessen (“Manuel”)/Maureen Lahoud (“Roberta”) in Laser Mission (1990); Paul Schrier (“Bulk”)/Jason Narvy (“Skull”) in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995); Kevin O’Connor (“Joey ‘Tooch’ Patucci”) in Deep Rising (1998); Jack Black (“Titus”) in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) [YES!!]

And one unusual case: while most voters went no further than naming their choice (obscenities optional), correspondent morad7 came up with a pick so obscure that he felt compelled to spell out in some detail just why his nomination was the Most Odious:

The actual title of the movie is Zombie Ninja Gangbangers…. I'll leave off complaining about the rest of the film because I could do it more or less forever. But the most odious comic relief is in this film, so far as I'm concerned. The main characters are bumbling around looking for protection from the zombies who roughed one (the teenage male) up and raped the other (yeah….I think this speaks for itself….). They learn about an occult master who just moved into town. One might think that they'd assume he was the *source* of the zombies, and thus try to eradicate him. Not so our illustrious heroes, who instead reason:


"Hey! I know! We'll go down there and have him make *us* a zombie bodyguard!"


A brilliant stratagem, yes. And I realize that I'm being long-winded about this, but since I doubt you've seen it I want to make it all the more clear that not only is this just appallingly, blisteringly terrible comedy, but it's so inconceivably irrelevant to anything that I don't understand at all what the hell compelled them to do it. So. . . the occultist makes the zombie for them. He sits up and turns out to be some kind of local stand-up comic or comic-aspirant who….first, he's painted white and wearing white jester clothes. What could ever compel someone to dress their zombie in that sort of thing….just….ugh. And so then he disembarks on what was at least three if not five minutes of non-stop horrible jokes while the other actors just look on in horror and discomfort. I think he also had a cigar.


Testament to how horrible this scene was: I don't even remember how the movie ends, or if the jester ever actually *did* anything besides causing me pain. My recollection of the plot sequence ends in that stupid basement laboratory with those jokes. God, it hurts to think about….”

In a distinct case of “thank heaven for small mercies”, most of these actors listed above managed to make themselves Odious upon just one occasion. Others, it seems, are Odious no matter what they’re doing. So click on forward and discover just who are:

The Most Generically Odious Actors Of All Time